A quick hello today, but I wanted to show you our OneBody International team in Salt Lake City! …
If you’ve read my blog posts or have me as your Facebook friend, you’d know that I drop truthbombs like nobody’s business and love it when my friends do the same, so for today’s post, I’m going to get in your face, toe-to-toe, eye-to-eye and nose-to-nose (for those who are my height, ha!). It’s been a long time coming and keeping quiet is not something I can do much longer on this topic so I must say what’s on my heart to both girls and guys. Today’s topic? Love and relationships.
Ladies and gentlemen, the common denominator to problems with love these days is…you. Take a gander and see what I’m talking about:
- If you’re single, don’t lead a girl on. If you like her, tell her. If you don’t like her, tell her.
- If you’re taken, man up and stop being a flirt or end the relationship. Don’t you dare put your girlfriend through grief because of your actions.
- Have standards. Yes, standards aren’t just for girls.
- Don’t belittle women. It does NOT make you more of a man.
- Don’t act cocky. Yep, I said it because there’s a difference between cocky and confident.
- Don’t compliment a girl just so you can get something in return. Girls like me can see right through your intentions. It’s not classy and yes, trashy can fit a man’s description. Be genuine!
- When you say you don’t want to be in a relationship because you’re working on your relationship with God, really work on it. Don’t lie. God sees all and don’t use him to get out of a relationship. It’s the lowest thing you can do.
- When you’re in a relationship and tell the other girl that she’s your back up in case your current girlfriend doesn’t work out, you need to know one thing: you’ll be stamped with “player” and don’t be surprised if you end up on those “Don’t Date This Guy” websites. It could happen.
- Stand firm in what you believe in and be deeply rooted. Don’t mold your beliefs just to get a girl to like you.
- Love hard just like God tells you to love. Love your girlfriend/wife like God loves you, but love God more.
- Put God first before any girl. Yes, that includes your momma. A strong man knows Who loved him first.
- If you’re single, don’t lead a guy on when he expresses interest. Respect his time and be truthful. If you’re taken, be in prayer for your man. He needs God just as much as you do!
- If you’re taken, woman up and stop being a flirt or end the relationship. Yes, girls can be players too so don’t put your boyfriend through pain either.
- Have standards, high standards. Just because a man breathes does not mean he’s the one for you. You know who you are and what kind of man you deserve. Stop settling!
- Don’t trash talk others. You’re encouraging other girls to do the same and it’s not attractive to guys. Trash talking is the equivalent to drama and guys hate drama! Instead, lift other girls up and be the one who inspires!
- Be confident in who you are, but be humble about it at the same time. No one likes a girl who acts like she’s God’s gift to men.
- For the love of God, when someone genuinely compliments you, take it, otherwise it’s just an insult. Stop being negative about yourself and really realize that you’re amazing!
- No one should ever come before God. Single? Work on your relationship with God! Married? Yep, God still should come before your hubby and babies!
- When you’re in a relationship, don’t be looking at other men. It’s not respectful.
- Stand firm for what you believe in! Your beliefs should be tall and strong as the Redwood Forest and don’t ever change who you are just to get a guy to like you. Oh and speaking of, if you sleep with a guy to feel important to someone, get him to like you or want to feel complete, you’re just setting yourself up for major heartache. Only God can complete you. No one else.
- Rather than spend your time looking for the guy of your dreams, work on yourself first. Know who you are, what you stand for and who you want. Once you know, don’t waver. The right one will come along.
- Love hard just like God tells you to love. Love your hubby like God loves you, but love God more. Strive to be the best Proverbs 31 woman you can be!
- I know it’s hard to not put your hubby or child first, but the first half of the commandments basically says to love God and the second half is to love others. Do it in that order.
When it comes to love and relationships, don’t complain about your love life if you’re looking for love at bars and nightclubs. Don’t tell me you feel worthless if you just slept with someone who wanted temporary satisfaction. If you shoot for the bottom of the totem pole, expect to get dirt. It’s as simple as that. You get what you tolerate.
If you feel like you need to make improvements to this part of your life, get your Michael Jackson on, take a look at yourself and make a change. Happy Friday Eve!
To my future husband,
I must warn you in advance. If you’re going to fall in love with me, don’t just fall in love with how I choose my outfit for Sunday morning church or the way my mouth slightly opens when I put on mascara. Don’t just …
I really haven’t blogged lately because due to what is called work and school, but more so, I’m really content with my life and the feeling God has given me about life (so I haven’t had to write about anything that has been bothering me). He’s in total control and I LOVE it! All I do is put my problems in His to-do box and just pray about it. I did that 2 weeks ago and He answered four of them in one day so, I have no worries because I know God will take care of me. I love the feeling of being in His house. I love hearing pastor’s messages because I know it’s God using him to speak to me. It was great teaching the little ones, but God has wanted me to listen to His word instead. I feel like I need to grow a lot more before I start teaching again. I can feel my faith and relationship with Him getting stronger by the day. :)…
As previously stated in the blog published before this one, the guy of your dreams will walk into your life when you are NOT looking.
In the meantime, go about your daily life and live it. I mean, REALLY live it. Go hot air ballooning. Gear up for a rock climbing wall and actually climb it. Oh! Slide down a zip line! Write a book. Start your own company. Read about someone you have been dying to learn about. Listen to the birds as they sing to you. Teach yourself how to play an instrument. Fully enjoy that cup of coffee. Eat lunch in the middle of a volcano in Santorini, Greece. Travel with your best friends. Meet new people. Get a higher education. Make lifelong friends while you are at it. Find the job of your dreams. Okay, you don’t have to do everything I listed, so you figure out what you want to do. Focus on who you want to be/who you are. Focus on yourself.
While doing all of this, pray this prayer (thank you, Valerie for showing me the way) every step of the way:
“Lord, I come to You today asking You to give the guy of my dreams to me. The one You want for me. I pray for You to cross our paths so we can meet each other. If not and the one You have who is meant for me is already in my life, reveal him to me. Anyone I meet, please reveal the good and bad things you want me to know. I will give You the praise and glory for it. In Your holy name I pray, Amen.”
And watch God work.
Dedicated to: the single, strong men and women whether being single is your choice or if it’s a result after a break up.
I have arrived at a point in my life where I am completely content with myself. I know who I am finally and it feels…pardon my language…damn good. How did I get there you ask? I got there by being single.
I am not one to date a lot or the type to have the need to always have a boyfriend like I have witnessed in society. For the most part, I have not found anyone worth my time to fit into my schedule in order to get to know them (until now). Believe me, time is not the excuse as to why I do not date; it used to be…until I realized that I would make time for those I care about, that and I was being hopelessly picky. Being hopelessly picky is why I have not dated often. My main standards for men to meet has not and will never change: a (strong) Christian, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink like a fish, faithful in their “promise” to God, and lastly, someone who sincerely cares not only about me, but about others whether they are family, friends or strangers. However, other detailed characteristics have evolved because I know God has already told me what type of person I am to be with. I’ll share those if someone should ask. 😉
I know what you’re going to ask next. How many men have met your criteria? Only three guys have met them and two have not worked in my favor because THEY have changed. I am completely okay with that because now, when I think back, I am so glad it never worked because I cannot imagine myself being with them. I am proud that I am a person who will not change who I am and what I’m looking for because the one that has met my and God’s criteria has walked into my life. Actually, he has been in my life all along and just this last year, I “discovered” him and my feelings for him. His very existence proves to me that I should never change who I am nor settle for anything less than what I’m looking for. (I AM hoping it will work someday according to God’s plan. 🙂 Until then, I will be patient and let God do His thing.)
Throughout my time of being single, I have learned so much about myself by the people I have encountered and have hung out with. This, in turn, has assisted me greatly in learning about my identity. Additionally, I have been fortunate to witness my friends’ relationships with their partners and that has helped me to know what I do and do not want in a relationship. Also, their experiences have reinforced my reasons on why I am so proud of who I have become: strong, independent, loving, and grounded.
Being single is not as bad as most think because there are a few awards to not being attached: you learn about yourself and who you are and you learn about who you want.
The catch to it all is being patient, staying grounded and not settling for anything less than what you believe in, and having faith that the one you are looking for IS out there. Sometimes you just have to not look in order to find them. From personal experience, they do exist and you’ll find them. Believe me.
I will never forget the scene in Gossip Girl when Nate Archibald was talking to Blair Waldorf about who she was to him. His words had hit me so hard that I sat up and wrote it down: “You can’t fight who you are.”
After finally knowing who I am, I realized that my discoveries have contributed to me being single all these years. People have constantly asked me, “Why is a girl like you single?” and my answer was always, “I’m too busy for a guy. I don’t have time. I work, go to school, take care of my mom, so I have no time.” Only after my learning about myself did I realize that I had been giving the wrong answer this whole time. I had chosen to be single for these past few years for the very reason of being too picky because I knew that if I met the right guy, I would MAKE time for him no matter how busy I was. This made me reflect upon a conversation I had with Kyle a while back about why a great guy like him was single and how when Kyle turned around to ask me the very same question, I realized my answer was the same as his: I’m too picky.
At first, I thought being picky was wrong, that I wasn’t being fair by not giving many people chances, but as time went on and guys walked in and out of my life, I got to learn about the different types of guys out there while learning who I was and what I wanted from life. With each experience, I knew I was picky for the very reason of not wanting to deal with guys who were not only unsure about life and people, but of themselves, their beliefs (in whatever it may be), and what they wanted out of life.
Being single has contributed tremendously to me learning about who I am and what I want in a guy. Like I said in my previous note, I’m happy to say that I am not one of those girls who changes themselves by changing their morals, values, and beliefs just to not have someone break up with them or be with someone or to want someone to love them. That’s just not what I believe if one wants to find true happiness.
I’m happy God made me an all-around girl. Call me weird, but I noticed this with my recent shopping trips. As I looked around stores and watched other girls shop, I was proud to be an all-around girl. By all-around girl, I mean, I’m not just a girlie girl, a sporty girl, or a tomboy, and interested in only fashion or video games or sports specifically, I am a mix and am interested in a little bit of everything!
While shopping, I was also glad to see that I don’t have a particular style of clothing. I’m not preppy or emo or anything. I’m Huongie. I wear what I feel like: casual, business-y, sophisticated, tasteful punk-rocker, woman in power suit (haha), whatever makes me feel confident for the day. As I continued to watch other shoppers, I began to really like the fact that I do have an interest in everything: video games, fashion, sports, museums, history, politics, science, religion, culture, writing, reading, art, traveling, etc., and not just clothes and makeup. I’m happy being different and feel great that I bring variety to my friendships and the world. I feel that being single for awhile has contributed to my all-around personality just like my discoveries have contributed to me being single.
I am so excited God has taught me to realize to be happy at the fact that I’m picky with guys. I trust God and His plans for me, so I have no problem being single while waiting for the one for me. I want a guy who’s a Christian, but not just any Christian, a God-fearing Christian who loves the Lord with all his heart. I want someone who is funny, witty, passionate, contemplative, thoughtful, has goals in life, and has his morals and values grounded. I want someone who is enthusiatic about life and learning. I want someone who won’t change their beliefs for anyone else and will stick to their guns believing that there is someone out there who will love/like them for who they are. Most of all, I want someone who trusts God so much to a point where being single is okay with him because he believes that the love of his life is out there, that it’s only a matter of time because God is doing the planning.
In my case, I am fighting for who I am and I’m not going to change because I want someone who’s just like me: happy with who they are, picky, loves God, and is excited about life no matter how much society is going down the crapper. God has, is, and will take great care of me. I know and believe in Him with all my heart. That’s one of my proudest attributes. I trust God with everything in my life. Including love. He knows what I’m looking for and who He wants for me because with each guy I come across, the next guy is better than the last. This proves to me that God is working. All I have to do on my end was put it in His to-do box, pray, continue to pray, and have faith in Him. So, I firmly believe that the one God has planned for me exists and I’m willing to be happily single and wait patiently because I KNOW he’s out there. 😀
Yes, being single is hard because patience is a contributing element. But we need to learn that it’s God’s timetable and not ours. Then when we look back on it all, we can think, “Yep, God knows best and when.” 🙂
In the meantime, if you learn about yourself, the world, and others and factor in what you want from life and people, learn from your experiences, and have patience, being single won’t so hard anymore because by then, you would’ve mastered an art.